Revision Strategy

I plan on making a lot of changes to my free draft. Some things that we noticed were that first, in my introduction paragraph I just pretty much listed all the different sources I as going to use, so it did not flow very well. I plan on adding more to what each one has to do with my paper and do a better job  of transitioning through that paragraph. Also in my introduction paragraph I plan on completely changing my thesis. Kianna helped me realize that the thesis I have now did not necessarily reflect what I was trying to argue through my paper. So I am going to focus my thesis more on how we can find beauty in unexpected places, including sad situations. Another major issue I am planning on changing is the overall flow of my paper. Right now, just like my introduction paragraph my body paragraphs are just pretty much listed, with the different sources I used. Hopefully I can clump them all together and use them in a better flowing way. I need my paper to be longer, so I plan on adding a paragraph on inner beauty, and the importance of it, as well as the importance of finding things beautiful. I am going to also make sure all my claim sentences reflect back on my thesis.

New thesis-

Every situation has something beautiful within it, from the happiest of moments to the saddest of moments. Beauty is often assumed to be from the way something looks, but the inner beauty of something is what truly matters.

or

Beauty is assumed to be the way something looks and that it can only be found in certain places. The truth of it is you can find something beautiful anywhere, from the saddest of moments, to the most unexpected places and what lies within these places is what is significant. The most important part of it all is the fact that you find beauty in the world.