Art should not be included in our current education curriculum as we should stay with our STEM program. Yo Yo Ma argues that art allows humans to be empathetic, which is an important trait to have in everyday life. Empathy is the ability to feel for someone in their current situation. Although empathy is a good trait to have, it is not a necessity. Our education system should be based on necessity. Our students now are our future, so they should be focused traits that will be needed. STEM teaches students these traits, while STEAM adds empathy which students can both learn without art and do not need it for their future careers. For this reason Yo Yo Ma is wrong about adding art into our current education curriculum.
The argument that empathy can be learned outside of school is a good one, but I feel that you could expand on it more. What are some other things that aren’t taught in schools but don’t need to be? How would having STEAM in classrooms affect the lives of students because it’s unnecessary? If you talk more about your argument, it’ll make your paragraph a lot stronger.